The awful truth is that Srila Prabhupada has had a desire to take part in "Simple Living/High Thinking" for many many years, it is a "continuous order" for us to follow. But during the final days of his manifest to material vision mission, he demanded, wished, pleaded and argued with his leading disciples, to assist him to again take part in "Simple Living/High Thinking". Giving his final order to go on Parikrama to Govardhana Hill, on Govardhana Puja Day travelling in a Bullock Cart. But the disciples did not fulfill that order. Below are some excerpts and after is a link to get the final days transcripts.
Prabhupada: And therefore I say, (laughs) DON'T KEEP ME LOCKED UP. You do your duty as I have trained you and LET ME BE FREE
Prabhupada: ALL SERIOUSLY CONSIDER THIS SUBMISSION AND LET ME GO! [On Parikrama in Bullock cart to Govardhana Hill on Govardhana Puja day]
Room Conversation
—
November 10, 1977, Vṛndāvana
Prabhupada: I wish that you GBC manage very nicely and consider I am dead and LET ME TRAVEL TO ALL THE TIRTHASTHANA. Without any responsibility. If I become recovered from this malady I shall come back and then I shall die in, what is it when the dead body is there, let them bring to Mayapura and Vrndavana. I am thinking in this way. Bring little medicine and no medicine, little milk, and travel one place to another and if there is death, what is the lamentation? My age is ripe. IN THE OPEN AIR AND BULLOCK CART or during daytime, eh? Or you can say semi-suicide, although living what consider me dead for the time. You manage and nowadays there is in India ample sunshine.
SO DURING THE DAYTIME I SHALL TRAVEL AND NIGHTTIME YOU MAKE A CAMP UNDER A TREE. IN THIS WAY LET ME TRAVEL TO ALL THE TIRTHAS. I AM THINKING IN THIS WAY. What is your opinion?
Bhavananda: Srila Prabhupada, we promise that we'll manage everything to the best of our ability.
Prabhupada: No, no, you are managing, I know, but you are all important men and unnecessarily you are bound up. YOU CANNOT GO. So Lokanatha party has got some experience and LET ME GO. In India the climate is now good. If I recover, it is very good. You know. So what is the wrong? If I die, then the body will be brought either in Vrndavana or Mayapura, that's all. And if I live, it will be a great end of a life. You are all experienced.
Jayapataka: As much as you have trained us, Srila Prabhupada, that is only how much we are experienced. We don't want that you be burdened any more with material management problems but...
Prabhupada: No, not from that point of view. WHAT IS THE USE OF LYING DOWN HERE?
Jayapataka: The kaviraja said that even that your body is going to, is got a life of six to ten years but he said EVEN A HEALTHY COW, IF IT'S KEPT LOCKED UP INSIDE OF A ROOM, THEN IT WILL DETERIOATE.
Prabhupada: And therefore I say, (laughs) DON'T KEEP ME LOCKED UP. You do your duty as I have trained you and LET ME BE FREE and if money required, he'll come and take and go back again as he is coming to take book.
They have got experience Indian, you can go village to village and, arrangement as you may, but it is trouble taken, and I am no longer, you manage. If I live, I can come again. I shall be very glad.
Devotee: Previously it was mentioned that there was some risk in travelling.
Prabhupada: What is that risk? Nowadays THERE IS NO RISK. What is the risk? Mm?
Devotee: Well from the medical point of view it's something with the organs or something, I don't know exactly but it's been considered.
Prabhupada: THIS IS MY PROPOSAL and...
Jayapataka: That would be after you gained some strength, Srila Prabhupada?
Prabhupada: Yes. If I [WILL GAIN STRENGTH WITH] FREE AIR AND FREE MOVEMENT WITH SUNSHINE and I can come back again in a year.
Jayapataka: You will be translating while you're travelling?
Prabhupada: No, yes and no.
Bhavananda: I think it's good idea, Srila Prabhupada.
Prabhupada: HA!
Bhavananda: Only factor at this point is not to take any unnecessary risk.
Prabhupada: No. As I think free, so I remain. Mm. Then when I am sane man, I shall come back again either Mayapura or Vrndavana or Bombay, any other.
Jayapataka: You would travel by a minibus.
Prabhupada: Mm?
Jayapataka: You would travel by a bus.
Prabhupada: THAT YOU THINK OF.
Bhavananda: We will all sit down and discuss the different arrangements that have to be made, plans that have to be made. It's a very nice idea. Real sannyasa life.
Prabhupada: Yes. Mm. You have tried doctor, kaviraja, medicine, everything.
EVERYTHING HAS FAILED. Now SUPPOSE I AM TAKING THE RISK OF DEATH, WHAT IS WRONG? When the..., I am dead you go India, within India, you go and bring the body either in Mayapura or Vrndavana. Mayapura the land is already there. Vrndavana I think on the gate side, that's all. That's wherever you like you'll do.
Jayapataka: This kaviraja assures that by taking little milk frequently during the day...
Prabhupada: I will take milk. Milk is available everywhere. (laughter) I SHALL TAKE LITTLE MILK AND SLEEP, THAT'S ALL. IF I LIVE THAT'S ALL RIGHT. IF I DON'T LIVE, THAT DOESN'T MATTER.
Bhavananda: Very nice program. We can all accompany you at different times of the month.
Prabhupada: Yes. NOT VERY MANY, but you can come and go back.
Jayapataka: Which holy places you would like to visit, Srila Prabhupada?
Prabhupada: India is full of holy places.
Jayapataka: Krsna-lila, Mahaprabhu-lila.
Prabhupada: And gradually you go to Mayapura. Is someone here?
Tamala Krsna: Yes, Srila Prabhupada.
Prabhupada: I...
Bhavananda: HE HAS HEARD EVERYTHING...
Prabhupada: Mm.
Jayapataka: By you going to the holy places, you will purify the holy places.
Prabhupada: There are two things, life or death. So if I die where is the wrong? And if there is death, that is natural.
Jayapataka: For you Srila Prabhupada, to be alive or to die is no different because you are in the transcendental position, but for us when you leave the body then we are bereft of your association. So for us it is very unfortunate.
Prabhupada: Then LIVE BY MY WORDS, BY MY TRAINING. Mm. (pause) SO YOU LIKE THIS IDEA? Mm?
Hamsaduta: I liked it.
Prabhupada: Oh. (pause) Most places you beg from the local place and subsist, otherwise purchase.
Jayapataka: You are very famous, Srila Prabhupada, wherever you go there will be crowds of people to have your darsana.
Prabhupada: So they will see me, I have no objection. I want little milk from them, that's all. (pause) So far my presence is required (for) management, I think I have bequeathed, properly you can manage. Hm. IT IS TO BE ADMITTED FAILURE, THE SO-CALLED MEDICAL TREATMENT, FAILURE. (pause)
Jayapataka: I'll be back to say that you defy all medical laws. Sometimes you become very weak and sometimes you become immediately strong. (pause)
Devotee: Giriraja.
Prabhupada: Oh.
Giriraja: Because, I mean, I don't have any faith in the doctors or their treatments because they're never working and ultimately it depends on Krsna and Krsna is everywhere. He can exercise His will in any condition and you know, as you say, that if you go out and if you recover then it's very good.
And even otherwise, I mean if that is the decision of Lord Krsna, then this is a very glorious way. (pause)
Prabhupada: ALL SERIOUSLY CONSIDER THIS SUBMISSION AND LET ME GO! (end) (771108rc.vrn)
Bhavananda: We should begin the parikrama in Vrndavana.
Prabhupada: Yes.
Bhavananda: Because quite honestly, Srila Prabhupada, I think most of us are very worried. If you go off down the road and send us all back to our different assignments, we would not be able to serve with our full attention, knowing that our beloved father and spiritual guide was in such weak condition. So if we begin in Vrndavana, we're all here now, we can see so that we know what arrangements to make for the future when you want to leave.
Prabhupada: Hm. YOU MAKE ME FLAT. (break)
Jayapataka: We heard that Your Divine Grace had a dream that a kaviraja of the Ramanuja-sampradaya would treat you and bring you back to strength, and this kaviraja says that in a very short time, following the treatment, you would regain your strength. Although he hasn't got all of the medicines yet, but within a day or two they'll all be prepared, and he says within fifteen days you should be quite improved in strength. So far, he seems to have been quite sincere.
Prabhupada: No, no, he's sincere. I'LL DRINK MILK. WHATEVER STRENGTH IS OBTAINABLE, THERE WILL BE.
Jayapataka: Like to follow the same treatment, only while traveling.
Hamsaduta: So we should meet and make a program for going around Vrndavana.
Prabhupada: YES.
Hamsaduta: You want to begin tomorrow morning?
Prabhupada: YES.
Devotee (1): If Prabhupada travels in a van it would be very bumpy. He should have a big bus.
Hamsaduta: Let's discuss it.
Prabhupada: Bus?
Devotee (1): A big bus.
Prabhupada: NO, NO, BUS WILL BE NOT GOOD. BULLOCK CART.
Bhavananda: Bullock cart?
Jayapataka: That is very bumpy.
Bhavananda: Your Guru Maharaja used to have bullock cart travel from Hulorghat [on the bank of the Ganges in Mayapura] up to the Caitanya Matha.
You told me you put a nice mattress down in the back and a cover, and you lay down there. You even told me once to go to Calcutta that way. You lay down, at night; you go little bit, little bit; and in the morning, when you wake up, you're in Calcutta.
Prabhupada: Bullock, you get the cow dung.
Tamala Krsna: Cook with it.
Jayapataka: In this part of India it's very cold now for Your Divine Grace.
Prabhupada: UNDERNEATH THE TREE IT IS NOT COLD.
Tamala Krsna: You sound like you are very determined to go, Srila Prabhupada.
Prabhupada: DAYTIME WE EXPOSE IN THE SUNSHINE, AND CAMP UNDERNEATH A TREE AT NIGHT. That has to be arranged.
Tamala Krsna: We were discussing how to make this parikrama possible, and we've concluded that the best thing was, as we said earlier, to parikrama around Vrndavana to begin with. And for that purpose we sent Lokanatha Maharaja and Panca-dravida Maharaja and Trivikrama Maharaja to get a bullock cart ready.
Prabhupada: Hired or purchased?
Tamala Krsna: No, for now just hired, not purchased. Later on we can make a more permanent arrangement, and it can be fixed up as nicely as possible. At the same time while we were meeting, the kaviraja, he also was present. So we inquired from him what he thought about this program, from a medical point of view of course. Spiritually he is in complete agreement. So from a medical point of view, he said that you would not at all be able to withstand this kind of a trip. He said that in a bullock cart, moving around, bumping on the road, you might not be able to live more than a couple of hours. He's here now. He wanted to speak to you.
Tamala Krsna: Lokanatha says that the bullock cart could probably go around Vrndavana in about five to six hours, parikramming Vrndavana town.
Prabhupada: Make an experiment. Then we shall decide. Vrndavana parikrama.
Tamala Krsna: Bullock cart is not smooth. How would you propose that we go, Srila Prabhupada?
Prabhupada: COME, LET US TAKE THE RISK.
Svarupa Damodara: As your disciples, Srila Prabhupada, we're all neophytes.
We don't know what is right and what is wrong. But at the same time we feel that we're very hopeful that you'll get strength slowly and slowly. And this morning you were telling us that you get a little strength, so we are hoping every day that "Prabhupada will gain even stronger and be with us for many more years." So we are taking advice from kaviraja that you take milk more and more, day by day, so that Prabhupada will get stronger. Like kaviraja is suggesting that when Your Divine Grace gets stronger, he'll go with you in the parikrama, he will accompany you.
Prabhupada: SO LET US MAKE EXPERIMENT IN VRNDAVANA.
Svarupa Damodara: Shall we do that immediately?
Prabhupada: Hm. Hm.
Bhakti-caru: (Hindi)
Kaviraja: (Hindi)
Bhakti-caru: Shastriji's saying that he shouldn't do it under the circumstances.
Bhavananda: Srila Prabhupada, if we follow the kaviraja's instructions and advice, then he feels that within fifteen days, twenty days, you will have strength. To take an unnecessary risk at this time, we have to practically appraise what will be the loss. You have said, "If I live or die on this parikrama, it will be glorious," but the loss will be that Srimad-Bhagavatam will not be finished, so many works will be unfinished. If it's just a matter of being a little patient and waiting fifteen more days--is only two weeks--then when you have strength, then we can all go on the parikrama, and you'll be able to hopefully gain more strength and finish up all of these works. But I think that the risk, in terms of the future of the whole world, is too great.
Prabhupada: VRNDAVANA PARIKRAMA IS NOT RISK.
Kaviraja: (Hindi)
Tamala Krsna: Srila Prabhupada, when you went on this parikrama the other day around the temple, you became dizzy just going around the temple four times. That's when you were even able to sit up in bed a lot more. How is it going to be possible to go for four, five or six hours, when you couldn't...
Svarupa Damodara: As your humble disciples, Srila Prabhupada, we are ready to take my instruction that you've kindly given us, but at the same time, you have advised us many times that we shouldn't take unnecessary risk. Just like few days ago you were telling a Bengali saying, saying that when you are doubtful, don't do it. You instructed us.
Prabhupada: That is material. (laughter)
Jagadisa: Srila Prabhupada, can you tell us why you want to go on the parikrama?
Tamala Krsna: This seems like suicide, Srila Prabhupada, this program. It seems to some of us like it's suicidal.
Prabhupada: AND THIS IS ALSO SUICIDAL!
Tamala Krsna: Hm. Prabhupada said, "And this is also suicide." Now you have to choose which suicide.
Prabhupada: THE RAVANA WILL KILL AND RAMA WILL KILL. BETTER TO BE KILLED BY RAMA! Eh? That Marica--if he does not go to mislead Sita, he'll be killed by Ravana; and if he goes to be killed by Rama, then it is better.
Tamala Krsna: Who is this Prabhupada's talking about?
Devotees: Marica.
Tamala Krsna: Srila Prabhupada? I mean, just judging the symptoms, which is all that we can do, certain symptoms have certainly picked up. For instance, you're passing more urine, stool is coming naturally, and you're able to drink milk without getting any cough. These things were never there before.
Prabhupada: Hm. That will continue.
Tamala Krsna: So if the treatment is continuing, if the treatment is working, why not continue it under the guidance of this kaviraja for some time? His point is this. This is what I've seen, Srila Prabhupada, being your secretary all these months, that whenever you took milk you would get cough. For the first time I see there's no cough coming. Another problem, you couldn't pass urine. Now there's double the amount of urine. Another thing, you couldn't pass stool. Now it comes normally. At least it comes without any artificial means. So the one thing that has not yet come is strength, and kaviraja is suggesting what you yourself had always said, "If I can drink milk, I will get stronger." So if the kaviraja's treatment... To my feeling it has worked. At least symptoms... The symptoms have been better under his treatment than any doctor so far.
Prabhupada: That will work. [drinking milk]
Bhavananda: It will work.
Svarupa Damodara: Also Srila Prabhupada's resting better than before.
Tamala Krsna: But the idea is that... According to him... I mean, obviously we're all conditioned, and... I mean, he's not claiming not to be a conditioned soul either, but according to him, going on this bullock cart is a suicide. He said within an hour or two hours, the bouncing and jumbling of the bullock cart will cause a heart attack. Just like you were having heart..., a little heart spasm the other day, just laying in bed two days ago. He says this going in a bullock cart, up and down, within one, two hours it can cause heart attack. So as his treatment has been better at least than any other doctor, and certain symptoms have improved, why are we giving up his advice? If you say his advice is wrong, then there's no comment, but all along, his advice seems to have been more accurate than any other doctors that we've had. I mean we who are closely around you, Srila Prabhupada, your servants, secretary, our opinion of him is far superior than our opinion of any of these others. I see that he's able to take care of one symptom after another somewhat successfully. He's able to deal with these problems. He can deal with the problem of not enough urine...
Prabhupada: That I know.
Tamala Krsna: He feels quite confident that you can live for six, seven more years, Srila Prabhupada.
Svarupa Damodara: We also feel very confident.
Tamala Krsna: Better that you live for six or seven years productively than that you go on this parikrama and die within two hours gloriously. Why not live for six or seven years and then go on parikrama and die? If the parikrama can always be done, why not put it off for six or seven more years of preaching?
Svarupa Damodara: You've already been glorious, Srila Prabhupada, all over the world. Whether you're here or outside doesn't really matter. You're already glorious.
Jayapataka: By your presence countless souls will attain devotional service.
That's more glorious.
Prabhupada: BUT I THINK I SHALL BE CURED. [BY THE PARIKRAMA].
Tamala Krsna: Prabhupada says he thinks he will be cured by the parikrama.
(Bhakti-caru and Shastriji--Hindi)
Hamsaduta: Under the circumstances WE HAVE TO CONSIDER WHETHER PRABHUPADA'S OPINION IS MORE OR LESS THAN THE KAVIRAJA'S, IS WHAT IT COMES DOWN TO.
Tamala Krsna: We can't continue..., consider. Srila Prabhupada has to.
Hamsaduta: IF PRABHUPADA SAYS THAT BY GOING ON PARIKRAMA HE FEELS HE'LL BE CURED, THEN HOW CAN WE CONTINUE TO PLACE ARGUEMENTS AGAINST HIM?
Kaviraja: (Hindi)
Prabhupada: Kuvera?
Bhakti-caru: Shastriji is telling Prabhupada to ask the Kuvera's puspaka-ratha. That is airplane of Kuvera. And do the parikrama in that.
Then there won't be any pumping in that way. And he's saying that if Prabhupada asks for that, he will sure get it. (devotees chuckle)
Kaviraja: (Hindi)
Tamala Krsna: Ultimately what Prabhupada decides, we will do.
Hamsaduta: Well, it just...
Tamala Krsna: Yeah, but it goes on. As Prabhupada goes on, his disciples also go on. (?)
Kaviraja: (Hindi)
Bhakti-caru: Shastriji's saying, Maharaja... Shastriji's saying that PRABHUPADA SHOULDN'T TALK TOO MUCH. It's bad for his heart.
Kaviraja: (Hindi)
Tamala Krsna: So, Srila Prabhupada, we can have kirtana until Krsna dasa comes. Okay. (kirtana) Lokanatha is here, over there, Srila...
Prabhupada: How many carts you have?
Lokanatha: I got just one today, one for you, and those who serve you, they could also sit besides you in the cart, and the rest could do kirtana around the bullock cart, and the whole unit, bullock cart and sankirtana group, will move together.
Prabhupada: So what we have to pay?
Lokanatha: We'll pay hundred rupees, one day. Of course, you want to have it for all the time. Best thing is to purchase a set of bullocks, two bullocks, and a cart.
Prabhupada: You have got experience.
Lokanatha: Yes.
Prabhupada: So how many we are going?
Tamala Krsna: Well, all the devotees want to go, Srila Prabhupada.
Prabhupada: Oh, that's nice.
Hamsaduta: That's nice?
Tamala Krsna: Yeah.
Prabhupada: So how many carts you require?
Panca-dravida: Just one.
Lokanatha: One for now. We also had a meeting, and we were discussing that if we go around just in Vrndavana, all will go. But if we keep going from holy place to holy place, then we have to decide whether everyone goes or just a few of us go.
Prabhupada: Our experiment...
Tamala Krsna: It certainly is an experiment. Of course, we always like experiments to be successful.
Prabhupada: Yes. Where he'll go?
Hamsaduta: Tomorrow is Govardhana-puja, and a procession through the city of Vrndavana would be very ecstatic.
Prabhupada: Hm.
Panca-dravida: One parade.
Prabhupada: Others will come also.
Tamala Krsna: Oh, yeah, well, if we go through Vrndavana, probably many people will come.
Hamsaduta: Then we could also get some experience, because if we were, for example, to go to Govardhana, we would have to pass over similar roads.
Lokanatha: This cart does not have cover, Srila Prabhupada. This bullock cart which I hired has no cover on the top.
Hamsaduta: So we have to cover it.
Bhakti-caru: Lokanatha Swami, you apparently didn't get one question of Prabhupada. He asked what do you think about this trip. You didn't answer that. You have some experience with bullock carts. What do you think? In this condition Srila Prabhupada will withstand the trip? You know in what condition Prabhupada is in now.
Gopala Krsna: Bullock cart are usually very bumpy.
Devotee: THE CART HAS RUBBER TIRES.
Lokanatha: If these roads are not bad, and the cart has tire wheels...
Prabhupada: Yes?
Lokanatha: So we're discussing bumping, so [THERE] WON'T BE MUCH BUMPING ON THE CART. Also, we always could go slow. If Prabhu-pada wants to make an experiment, we could make one day...
Gopala Krsna: A few hours.
Prabhupada: I am thinking I AM LYING HERE... (break)
Lokanatha: ...should ride in very nice carts, a chariot.
Prabhupada: No, (indistinct). (laughter)
Lokanatha: I saw one in Maharastra. In Poona. Yes.
Prabhupada: Hm. You can purchase immediately. (laughter)
Lokanatha: We'll have to design it. They're not ready-made like that. The kind which we want, the pull-on kind, with cover on top and nice arrangements, we have to design it and order it. Get it made. There's a place called Meerut, north of Delhi...
Prabhupada: Therefore I sent you. You have got already experience.
Lokanatha: You said you want to make an experiment, so let us make an experiment with this hired bullock cart, and in few days' time...
Tamala Krsna: So where will we go tomorrow if we go?
Prabhupada: GOVARDHANA?
Tamala Krsna: Govardhana.
Panca-dravida: That's very far. We went on one parade three years ago in Vrndavana, with elephants, that Your Divine Grace went. Maybe we could go on that same route.
Tamala Krsna: Govardhana will take about six hours to reach there.
Lokanatha: No, how many kilometers is that?
Gopala Krsna: Oh, it's very far.
Tamala Krsna: Twenty-eight to thirty kilometers.
Gopala Krsna: It takes one hour by car.
Lokanatha: Take five kilometers an hour.
Tamala Krsna: That's six hours to get there. Six hours to get there, and then three hours around Govardhana. Nine hours.
Gopala Krsna: And six hours back.
Panca-dravida: And the bulls might have to rest.
Tamala Krsna: You have to rest the bulls, don't you?
Panca-dravida: There's one route we went on in Vrndavana, on a parade.
Shorter route. First time, as an experiment, we could go a shorter distance.
Tamala Krsna: That's quite a big experiment to make, going to Govardhana the first day, Srila Prabhupada. You feel confident that you can travel nine hours in a row on a bullock cart?
Prabhupada: I AM SLEEPING HERE.
Tamala Krsna: What, Srila Prabhupada?
Lokanatha: He says he's sleeping here.
Tamala Krsna: But this is not a bullock cart.
Prabhupada: THE SAME THING.
Tamala Krsna: The same thing?
Jayadvaita: One thing is that in the Gosvami temples they have govardhana-sila. That's also Govardhana.
Hamsaduta: Srila Prabhupada? The main concern of the devotees is that whether you will be able to survive such an experiment. But before, you said that you felt that SUCH A PARIKRAMA WOULD ACTUALLY CURE YOU. You said that.
So your vision is transcendental, because you are the spiritual master.
You're a pure devotee of Krsna. So IF YOU SAY THAT IT WILL CURE YOU AND THAT IT WILL BE BENEFICIAL FOR YOU, THEN WE HAVE TO CARRY OUT THAT..., WHATEVER YOU DESIRE. We do not know. We're just on the mundane platform.
Prabhupada: ONE-DAY EXPERIMENT. It is for one day?
Lokanatha: We have hired it for one day.
Prabhupada: REST ASSURED. I WILL NOT DIE IN ONE DAY.
Hamsaduta: So we should go to Govardhana? Because tomorrow is Govardhana-puja.
Prabhupada: YES. AND WE SHALL MAKE OUR COOKING THERE AND...
Lokanatha: We should start early.
Prabhupada: He has got experience. Dig the ground and make our foodstuff.
Very good picnic.
Gopala Krsna: Very good picnic.
Hamsaduta: If we go to Govardhana, we would take the prasadam that was prepared here and bring it there, so that many people can take.
Prabhupada: I have no objection.
Lokanatha: Or otherwise we can make real picnic. We could collect some grains there from door to door and cook some khicuri there.
Prabhupada: That will be very nice.
Gunarnava: There are already many thousands and thousands of people there, Srila Prabhupada. Perhaps it will take a long time to get there because of traffic. I was in Mathura today. Every ten minutes buses and tangas and so many kinds of vehicles were going to Govardhana. There are many, many thousands of people there today.
Panca-dravida: Besides that, the devotees would have to walk nine hours in the sun.
Gunarnava: Perhaps the road will be very busy tomorrow, Srila Prabhupada.
Tamala Krsna: Whew!
Hamsaduta: Can't walk?
Prabhupada: No, let them take their time. They do that. IT IS VERY NICE PICNIC.
Lokanatha: From my village there is this pilgrimage called Pandarpur. This is sixty miles. And still, old men, they just travel, walk. Every ekadasi they go.
Prabhupada: JUST SEE!
Lokanatha: Every ekadasi they go to Pandarpur, have darsana of Charukmari(?), and return on foot.
Hamsaduta: YOU HAVE ASSURED US THAT IN ONE DAY YOU'RE NOT GOING TO DIE, AND YOU WANT TO MAKE THIS EXPERIMENT, SO WE SHOULD DO IT.
Prabhupada: OH, YES!
Hamsaduta: We'll do it with great enthusiasm. Your Divine Grace is infallible. So if you say that it will help and cure you, then that must be a fact. You've never been wrong about anything, Prabhupada, so you must be right this time also.
Prabhupada: SO LET US MAKE EXPERIMENT. DON'T HESITATE!
Panca-dravida: So we can fix up the cart tonight.
Hamsaduta: Where's the cart? Outside?
Panca-dravida: It's coming.
Lokanatha: It will reach at eleven o'clock here. So I suggest right after mangala-arati we'll go, or we should start.
Prabhupada: As far as possible, take me in a comfortable position. That's all. As far as possible.
Svarupa Damodara: Comfortable position.
Prabhupada: That...
Panca-dravida: Arrange one bed on the cart. This mattress can go in nice arrangement.
Prabhupada: Yes.
Tamala Krsna: This is not the best. There is other mattresses that are as good or better than this. The temple has many gadis. We'll get them.
Panca-dravida: We can make nice arrangement. This will purify Govardhana Hill, Srila Prabhupada. Tirthas become purified by the presence of...
Lokanatha: Another tirtha.
Panca-dravida: Yes. Prabhupada will go to the tirtha.
Jagadisa: You're a Vaisnava like Arjuna and Hanuman, Srila Prabhupada.
Prabhupada: TOMOROW IS A GREAT FESTIVAL!
Lokanatha: Tomorrow is Govardhana-puja festival.
Prabhupada: Yes. We are in Vrndavana, and we shall not take part? WE MUST TAKE PART!
Tamala Krsna: Hm. We are in Vrndavana and we are not taking part. We must take part.
Panca-dravida: So we should all go to Govardhana?
Prabhupada: WHY NOT? WHO IS HERE?
Tamala Krsna: About thirty or forty devotees, Srila Prabhupada.
Svarupa Damodara: We're just like puppets, Srila Prabhupada. We are all unfit to make any decision. Whatever Your Divine Grace instructs us to do, we just follow.
Prabhupada: So, Lokanatha, what do you say?
Svarupa Damodara: What do you say, Lokanatha Maharaja?
Lokanatha: We should make experiment to please you.
Prabhupada: THAT'S NICE.
Lokanatha: That will be ever-new experience for us also.
Prabhupada: Yes...
Svarupa Damodara: So when we'll come back from Govardhana?
Gopala Krsna: Tomorrow night.
Tamala Krsna: So after circumambulating Govardhana, we will return to Vrndavana or stay out?
Prabhupada: What do you think?
Panca-dravida: Maybe we could stay overnight...
Hamsaduta: :Six hours to go, three hours to go, that's nine. It's not possible to come back. So one night, spending one night in Govardhana.
Gopala Krsna: The devotees are crashing after two hours.
Lokanatha: The devotees should be prepared to stay overnight there. Under the trees. (laughter)
Hamsaduta: We're supposed to be gosvamis. We have to stay under a tree.
Different tree every night.
Lokanatha: When we were traveling from Vrndavana to Mayapura we stayed many times. Outside we'd live under the tree. It's nice.
Bhakti-caru: Yes, but if just one window is open at night, Prabhupada starts feeling cold in spite of the blanket.
Lokanatha: You are making mundane.
Svarupa Damodara: It will be very cold in the early morning hours.
Hamsaduta: We'll bring the van, and Prabhupada can stay in the van overnight, or we'll find some place.
Gopala Krsna: All the asramas will be overcrowded.
Panca-dravida: We can sleep around the van. Prabhupada is like a desire tree. He satisfies everybody.
Lokanatha: That cart could be turned into house. Have bamboo sticks, cover it with...
Prabhupada: SO BEGIN TO PLAN.
Svarupa Damodara: I think Lokanatha Swami should make the route, completely planned out, and the place also where we're going to picnic so that everything has to be arranged well ahead of time.
Prabhupada: SO DO IT.
Panca-dravida: Yes, we'll prepare the cart tonight, Srila Prabhupada.
Lokanatha: When we started the bullock cart you said, "Go to the heart of the village," and we said, "What is this heart?" You said, "Wherever there is well, water, we should camp. We should stay." That is where we could remain clean.
Prabhupada: That you have experience. I have no experience.
Lokanatha: Maybe you sent me to experience this bullock cart program so that you could in future go on bullock cart.
Prabhupada: YES. For me it is experiment.
Svarupa Damodara: We should also request kaviraja to come along?
Prabhupada: Invite him.
Gopala Krsna: He can come in the van.
Panca-dravida: Then it is all decided. You want to take some rest, Srila Prabhupada?...
Prabhupada: SO MAKE ARRANGEMENT.
Tamala Krsna: Yes, Srila Prabhupada.
Prabhupada: (Bengali)
Jayapataka: ...that if you feel any pain or experience any difficulty, then we can bring you back.
Prabhupada: Yes. I'm not obstinate. (laughter)...
Tamala Krsna: Well, Srila Prabhupada, I'll tell you, I'm getting so upset sitting in the room upstairs. I mean I just... I was walking around... Two of the devotees told me this road is so bad that if you go on this road, you're going to be jolted back and forth. The road is terrible. I just can't understand, Srila Prabhupada, why it has to be tomorrow that we have to go.
If anybody wants you to travel, I do. My whole desire is to take you all over the world. I want to take you on parikrama, but why do we have to go when you're in this condition? I can't understand it. It just... I was standing outside. This kaviraja, he has worked so hard. He's so much disappointed. He can't understand why he... He says that now, today, you've taken half a kilo of milk. No mucus has is being produced. No stool is being passed. He says TOMORROW HE WANTS TO GIVE YOU MEDICINE!!!. He's going to get you to a point where you can take two kilos of milk a day. And he says very soon you'll be able to have the strength to actually do parikrama. So why are we throwing everything out the window, that we must go tomorrow? I cannot understand.
Prabhupada: All right.
Bhakti-caru: Jaya Srila Prabhupada.
Bhavananda: Thank you, Srila Prabhupada.
Prabhupada: I cannot refuse all your request.
Tamala Krsna: And we cannot refuse your request. We will take you all over tirtha-yatra, to all the places. Just that you get a little stronger. You'll be free of all management. You simply go to tirthas and take darsana of all the Deities in India. Everyone will stay in their respective places. They'll manage. But we just want you to be stronger.
Prabhupada: All right. That will satisfy you? (laughter)...
Bhavananda: We were just on our way down the stairs to come and see Your Divine Grace.
Prabhupada: Bhavananda?
Bhavananda: Yes, Srila Prabhupada.
Prabhupada: You are satisfied?
Bhavananda: Now I am, Srila Prabhupada, yes. (laughter) I was in too much anxiety.
Prabhupada: No, no, I cannot put you in anxiety. You have done so much. You have suffered in Mayapura so much. I cannot put you in anxiety. SO I SHALL DO WHAT YOU LIKE. (Bengali) Lefthand, righthand. I CANNOT REFUSE.
Tamala Krsna: I mean I'm amazed, Srila Prabhupada. A half a kilo of milk you've drank today--no mucus, no stool, and that is wonderful. You could not have done this two weeks ago.
Bhakti-caru: Yes, when I told the kaviraja he got quite amazed. He told me, "Don't give any more milk. It might..." But Srila Prabhupada wanted some milk now, so I'll give.
Prabhupada: Where is kaviraja?
Tamala Krsna: He's out again getting MEDICINE. This man, Srila Prabhupada, Adri-dharana says he sits up all night worried about you, thinking, taxing his mind how to give you just what you require.
Prabhupada: No.
Bhakti-caru: Yesterday, when I went to call him at 4:30, I saw him sitting on his bed.
Tamala Krsna: All night. He goes in the jungle four, five hours looking for roots, herbs to give you. He's so sincere.
Prabhupada: So many well-wishers, I cannot refuse. This is not my business.
(Bengali) All right. You take Babaji Maharaja. That will be my going. (laughter)
Krsna dasa Babaji: Jaya.
Tamala Krsna: Yes, the bullock cart will go tomorrow.
Prabhupada: Yes.
Tamala Krsna: To Govardhana.
Prabhupada: Yes, other devotees can go. I CANNOT GO...
Tamala Krsna: No, they'll go on your behalf, but you will go one day. That we promise you.
Prabhupada: All right.
Tamala Krsna: Our greatest pleasure will be to take you on tirtha-yatra, Srila Prabhupada. We wanted so much to go with you on that.
Prabhupada: Thank you very much.
Tamala Krsna: Actually, Srila Prabhupada, we're so much attached to you that you practically drive us to madness sometimes. Tonight we were becoming mad.
Prabhupada: No, no, I shall not do that. Babaji Maharaja? (Bengali) So you will take bath in Radha-kunda on my behalf.
Tamala Krsna: We'll get you better, Srila Prabhupada, and you will also be able to take bath personally there. We'll see you get better.
Prabhupada: That's all right.
Tamala Krsna: Krsna will make all of our words come true, Srila Prabhupada.
Bhakti-caru: (Bengali--brings milk for Prabhupada)
Prabhupada: Oh, yes. (Bengali)
Tamala Krsna: Oh, this kaviraja, I mean we're fortunate to get this sincere man.
Prabhupada: Where is kaviraja?
Tamala Krsna: He's out working, at work.
Bhavananda: Adri, see if he's here, kaviraja.
Tamala Krsna: As soon as he comes, he can come and see Prabhupada.
(end) (771110rc.vrn)
Room Conversation
—
November 11, 1977, Vṛndāvana
Tamala Krsna: ...days till you get a little more strength. I mean this is a very good sign Srila Prabhupada. You've taken a half a kilo of milk. No mucus, no stool. If you get a few days of strength... I mean I have no objection even tomorrow to take you. I just would like to hear what the kaviraja... I really have a little faith in him. I mean I have all faith on you, Srila Prabhupada. I have only a little faith in him, but I don't want to reject his advice as a doctor. This kaviraja is giving sound advice so far.
Prabhupada: Where he is?
Tamala Krsna: We're just trying to get him here. He went out again to get some more medicine for you. He says now that he's seen that you took this half kilo of milk he's going to start to give a MEDICINE that will make this milk make muscles on your body, because all the muscles have become finished, slackened. So he wants to do that so that you'll then have strength. Parikramming the temple is not so bad. Let's just see what he says. It's certainly not that difficult. The main thing is, you have to be able to sit up for some time. (aside:) Prabhupada wants to become enlivened spiritually, you know, by some spiritual activity. (to Prabhupada:) We'll ask the kaviraja if he thinks we can take you tomorrow for a short parikrama around the temple, Srila Prabhupada.
Indian devotee: He just got on the phone. I just talked with him.
Tamala Krsna: He's coming back? I couldn't believe that... I felt so bad, seeing him tonight. He was sitting, Srila Prabhupada, on the fountain steps, completely dejected. Couldn't understand why. He just was so, so disappointed and unhappy.
Prabhupada: (Bengali)
Krsna dasa Babaji: (Bengali)
Tamala Krsna: Srila Prabhupada, the way you deal with us simply deepens our attachment every moment.
Prabhupada: It is my duty. (laughter) There was a professor in Scottish Churches' College. So when you would say something, he would reply, "That's my duty," "juti," j-u-t-i. (chuckles) So there was a student. He said... So he said, "Is that Scottish pronunciation?" (break)
Bhakti-caru: He's asking whether Srila Prabhupada is feeling stronger. He said yes.
Kaviraja: (Hindi)
Bhakti-caru: He's saying that Prabhupada's pulse is ninety, which is normal, and he gave three other MEDICINES for Prabhupada's heart. That missing beat that Prabhupada was having--that's no more there.
Kaviraja: (Hindi)
Prabhupada: Hm? What is that?
Tamala Krsna: You were having a missing beat in your pulse.
Prabhupada: Huh?
Kaviraja: (Hindi)
Bhakti-caru: (Bengali) He is telling that he's REQUESTING REPEATEDLY that PRABHUPADA DOESN'T TALK TOO MUCH. He says that the energy that he's building, the moment he starts talking, he loses that energy.
Tamala Krsna: Is that all right, Srila Prabhupada?
Prabhupada: NO! HOW TO SAY ALL RIGHT?
Kaviraja: (Hindi)
Bhakti-caru: (Hindi)
Tamala Krsna: Trying to stop Srila Prabhupada from speaking is like trying to stop the Ganga.
Kaviraja: (Hindi)
Bhakti-caru: Shastriji's saying that he's seen lakhs of patients, but he hasn't seen a body like Srila Prabhupada's. In one moment it is very critical, and the next moment it's in perfect order. And he is now absolutely confident that Prabhupada is going to get well.
Jagadisa: He is or isn't?
Tamala Krsna: He is. We also are.
Bhakti-caru: And he's just requesting Srila Prabhupada that he keeps on taking the milk and the fruit juice and THE MEDICINE.
Tamala Krsna: Is that all right, Srila Prabhupada?
(end) (771111rc.vrn)
Room Conversation
—
November 11, 1977, Vṛndāvana
Tamala Krsna: ...the bullock cart to Vrndavana. You were thinking to travel again, Srila Prabhupada?
Prabhupada: Not now.
Tamala Krsna: Some pain? Oh, here he is. Here's Lokanatha, Srila Prabhupada.
Prabhupada: Lokanatha?
Lokanatha: Srila Prabhupada.
Prabhupada: You are coming back?
Lokanatha: Yes, we came back from sankirtana. We had kirtana in the town, Vrndavana, Loi Bazaar and Banke Bihari temple, that route. We had a bullock cart filled in with Gurukula school children, and there was a big group of devotees chanting and dancing in front of the cart, and there was also van, making announcement, inviting people for our afternoon program of arati, kirtana, and prasadam distribution.
Prabhupada: So go.
Lokanatha: No, we already did. I announced, and we also had kirtana. It was very ecstatic. Thirty, forty devotees came, and it was very, very nice.
Wherever we stopped, people gathered around us in a big number, enjoyed kirtana and heard announcements about the program. So I just came back.
Prabhupada: And prasadam?
Lokanatha: Prasadam will be served out to the guests after this arati.
Twelve o'clock is arati. And then we'll be serving out prasadam to the guests first. When everyone is served, we'll eat the remnants.
Prabhupada: You have got all in your charge.
Lokanatha: Yes, I have.
Prabhupada: Tamala?
Tamala Krsna: Yes, Srila Prabhupada.
Prabhupada: Consult with him.
Tamala Krsna: Hm. Make up a tour? All right. Very good.
Prabhupada: Since a long time I have got a desire.
Tamala Krsna: Hm. Prabhupada's had this ambition for a long time.
Lokanatha: Travel in the holy places. So you'll be doing in...?
Tamala Krsna: Well, we can discuss.
Jayadvaita: Lord Balarama, He did that. He went to all the holy places. So in the same way, if you can get a little strength from Krsna and Balarama here in Vrndavana, then you can... Lord Balarama was going to all the different places...
Tamala Krsna: Or shall we discuss more? We can start discussing.
Prabhupada: Yes.
Tamala Krsna: Okay. We'll have kirtana here for you. Okay. Kirtaniyah sada harih. (break)
Prabhupada: May come see.(?) Bhogaisvarya-prasaktanam tayapahrta-cetasam, vyavasayatmika buddhih...
Bhavananda: Do you have to now? No. (break) Prabhupada was saying he is heavy all over his body. Just before all this pain, he was feeling heavy.
Bhakti-caru: (Hindi)
Kaviraja: (Hindi)
Indian devotee: Which side? The left side of the body?
Bhavananda: He said all over.
Prabhupada: (Hindi)
Bhavananda: Also he called me. He was feeling very cold, and so many blankets and quilts.
Prabhupada: Blood pressure is... Blood pressure...
Bhakti-caru: (Hindi)
Kaviraja: (Hindi)
Bhakti-caru: He said that there are three things that cause disease: vayu, pitta, and kapha. And due to weakness, the...
Kaviraja: (Hindi)
Bhakti-caru: MEDICINES might have caused some cold in the body. Milk also is quite cooling.
Tamala Krsna: Srila Prabhupada? Are you feeling a little relief now? Try and take some rest now, Srila Prabhupada.
Bhavananda: The swelling's gone down every day. It's not increasing. Have you noticed?
Kaviraja: (Hindi)
(end) (771113rc.vrn)
On November 14, 1977 at 7:30pm in his Krsna Balarama Mandir in Vrndavana SURROUNDED BY "DISCIPLES" [many of them soon to become his self-appointed successors] ADMINISTERING HIM THE UNWANTED MEDICINE [PRESCRIBED BY THE KAVIRAJA WHO REPEATEDLY ASKED PRABHUPADA TO STOP SPEAKING] Srila Prabhupada left his body. With his last breath he was preaching "Life comes from life, not from matter..."
"He reasons ill who tells that Vaisnavas die. When thou art living still in sound! The Vaisnavas die to live, and LIVING try to SPREAD THE HOLY NAME AROUND!" (Srila Bhaktivinode Thakura)
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